Third installment of the book!

I left Ted’s office and went back up the stairs to the Oncology floor. My plan was to visit a young man I had seen pacing the hallways. The census said he was twenty-three but he looked fifteen. He was tall, at least five foot ten but very thin. His arms and legs were like sticks and seemed too long for his body. The baseball cap he wore during his walks covered his hair and most of his acne-scarred face. Today, he was sitting on a bench near the elevators next to a very heavy woman. She had one hand resting on a folding chair and the other on the young man. A pillow covered with army camouflage fabric cushioned his skinny body. He was rummaging through a leather pouch. His name was Charlie and his diagnosis was testicular cancer.

“Hey you,” the heavy woman called. “Aren’t you the Chaplain?”
I nodded. “Was there something that you needed?”
“Yeah, my son wants to go outside and I’m too tired to take him out. He needs a wheelchair.”
“Oh.” I went off to get one.
It took both of us to get Charlie into the wheel chair. His arms were like cloth covered bones and his legs were like disconnected pins stuck onto his body. He had little control of whatever muscles he had left. A heavy sigh escaped his lips as he sat down.
“I just want to sit in the sun.”
He pointed outside and we began the journey into a little courtyard. For once, there was sun and I guided his wheelchair over to another bench so I could sit down. He reached into the leather pouch and took out a cigarette and a lighter. He smiled at me. He was missing a few teeth and the ones he had left were discolored.
“Want a smoke?”
“No thanks, I don’t smoke.”
“Well, what do you do anyway? Just hang out?” He started blowing smoke rings.
“Not exactly. I’m here to help people with their spiritual needs.” His eyes were closed and he was quiet. His chest moved visibly with every breath.
“I’m having surgery tomorrow.” He opened his eyes and looked at me. “They’re going to remove my testicles. That’s where the cancer is.” He waited. “That’s where the cancer is.”
The sun was hot for May. There was rain in the air and the entire atmosphere felt heavy and oppressive. Sweat was forming on my body and I just wanted to get up and run back into the hospital. I stayed seated.
“I’m only twenty-three.” The cigarette dropped from his fingers and laid smoking on the ground. We watched as the smoke gradually curled up and away. I thought about stepping on it but we both watched until the cigarette went out. Then I got up and took him back to his room.
I got called to Charlie’s room about five p.m. He’d barricaded the door with his bed and a large heavy chair. You could see everything through the window into his room.
The charge nurse looked harried. “He won’t let us in the room. It’s time for us to give him his meds. He needs these meds for his surgery tomorrow. I called his mother at home and she told me to call you.”
“Really!” I looked through the window and there was Charlie sitting in the corner of his room on the floor. The door moved slightly when I pushed on it. The staff helped and eventually I was able to slip inside.
“Give us a little time,” I said over my shoulder as I climbed over the bed and the chair. “Charlie?” He didn’t move. I picked up his pillow and brought it to him. He hugged it to his chest and I sat next to him on the floor. The two of us just sat there. Time stopped. It was just us, suspended in a moment.
“Charlie?” We both looked up. The nurse was inching her way into the room with a glass of water and a cup of pills. “It’s time.” She bent down, handed him the glass and spilled the pills into his hands. He took them all at once and we watched the nurse maneuver her way out of the room.
Charlie looked at me. “I can’t see God. But I know he’s really there. I know it now.” He struggled to get up. I helped him and he leaned on me as we walked over to his bed. I covered him up and he closed his eyes.
***

Ted was sitting in his office methodically spooning soup into his mouth. Once a week, at lunch time, I would arrive in his office and spill my guts about what was going on during my chaplaincy. We were also required to submit a journal every week detailing what was going on and our feelings. He read the journal and commented in the margins. Today, there was no question about how I was feeling. I was angry.
“This is craziness, this job.” I said. He continued eating. “Yesterday, I spent an hour sitting on the floor of this kid’s room doing nothing. I tried to pray but it just seemed so hopeless. There was nothing I could do for him but sit on the floor. Sit on the floor.” I repeated this again louder since it hadn’t gotten any reaction from Ted. We sat there in silence. The institutional clock in his office clicked away the seconds. It had somehow come off the wall and was sitting on top of a pile of papers, magazines, books and folders. The office was small and we had barely enough room to positions two chairs directly across from each other. I sat there reading the titles of the books on the shelf next to Ted. Addiction and Grace, Death and Dying, Basic Types of Pastoral Care…..
“Is this the kid with the Testicular cancer?” He set down the soup and started in on a salad.
“Yes.”
“So what was it like for you to sit with that kid?”
“What was it like?” Was he kidding? “It was brutal. I never felt more helpless in my life. He’s only 23! He’s a skeleton for heaven’s sake. Praying for him seems ludicrous. I mean after all, what am I supposed to pray for?
“So, you felt helpless. Probably not the feeling you are used to in your corporate life.”
“Of course not, I’m paid to solve problems.” A sense of frustration was starting to take over my entire body. I did not want to have this conversation. Ted should be focused on this poor kid who probably was waking up in recovery right this very moment maimed forever. He would never be able to have children. Something needed to be done.
“And you couldn’t solve this problem.” He had set his salad down on the bookshelf and was leaning toward me.
“Right.” Wasn’t that obvious? Wasn’t he listening?
“So, what did you do?”
“I sat with him.”
“And what was that like?”
“I told you!” I was practically screaming. “It was brutal.”
“What was it like for him?” Ted spoke softly.
“I don’t know. How could I know? I’m not 23 and dying.” Tears started. I could feel them in the corner of my eyes. I was not in the mood to cry in front of this person at this moment.
“Well, you wrote in your journal that he said he couldn’t see God but that he knew God was there.”
“Yeah, so?”
Ted leaned back and put his hand behind his head. He stared at me for a moment. “So, how do you think he knows God is there?”
“I have no idea.”
Now it was Ted’s turn to get frustrated. Although I noticed he seemed to control it. He took a deep breath.
“You sat with him and you are the chaplain.”
“But I’m not God.”
Ted laughed. “No, you are not God, but you get to be present to people in the name of God. People appreciate that kind of “presence” especially when they are ill.”
“Really.”
“Yes, Really. Why don’t you go up and see how he made it through the surgery? You can be aware of your ministry of presence.
On the long climb up eight flights of stairs, I wondered how I had come from fixing problems in corporate america to just being present in the midst of problems that were almost too difficult to contemplate. I really wanted to be able to “fix” the problems I was seeing in the hospital. What had I gotten myself into?
Charlie was in intensive care. He was wearing an oxygen mask and there were multiple bags of drugs attached to an IV pole. A technician was having trouble with the blood pressure cuff. It was just too big for his skinny arm. A nurse walked in and said “Get a cuff from Pediatric.” She glanced at my ID. “He needs prayers, this one.” She shook her head.
I sat in the chair next to the bed. He needs prayers so I should pray. Ok. God, this sucks. This kid is young and his body is failing and what the hell are you doing about it? What about all those miracles? Where are the miracles now? Look at him. I screamed this in my head and imagined pointing a finger at the bed. Where are you!
Charlie’s mother walked slowly into the room. She was carrying his army pillow and baseball cap. I got up from the chair and she immediately sat down.
“Oh honey, I’m so glad you were here with Charlie. It’s like having God watchin’ over him. It’s like God is right here. Yup, yesterday Charlie told me about you settin’ with him. You just sat there and didn’t talk at him. He said it was what it must be like to be with God. He said God would just be with him and not tell him stuff like it’s going to alright because it’s not going to be alright. He’s dying and he knows it and he just wants to know that God is with him. That’s what you did.” She was crying softly. “He wanted to be a soldier. He was willing to die for his country but now he’s dying because of the cancer. You go and be with other people now. I’ll stay with Charlie.”
I turned to leave.
“And honey?”
“Yes?”
“God Bless you.”
I made it to the Ladies room before I started to cry.

Second installment of the book!

“Ted!”
I burst into his office. I had wasted no time running down the seven flights of stairs and winding my way through the maze of hallways to my supervisor’s office. “You’re never going to believe what just happened to me.”
Ted was sitting at his desk eating a salad. He turned and motioned me to sit down, a look of amusement on his face. “What just happened?”
“I was up on the floor and I went into this guy’s room… “
I related the entire story. Ted sat there calmly eating, listening and nodding. When I finished, he said “that’s wonderful Jackie.”
That’s it? I stared at him.
“You should probably get back up to your unit.”
He picked up a magazine. Did nothing faze this guy?
When I first met him, he was flipping through the pages of my ten page spiritual autobiography. I watched him read for a few minutes before I cleared my throat to let him know I was here for my interview. All I knew at this point was that I needed to get into this program in order to get ordained as an Episcopal priest.
“So,” he started. “I see that you moved around a lot as a child. What was that like for you?”
No one had ever asked me that question. I had never really thought about what it was like to move so much. I had just accepted it.
“It was difficult. I don’t have any life long friends.”
For the first time in my life, I felt the loss that comes with moving. The times of saying goodbye to friends, packing up and starting over came back to me in a wave of feeling. I sat there feeling very sad.
Ted was silent watching me, “I’m sure it was very difficult for you.”
I felt very emotional. I just sat there waiting for his next question.
“What are you feeling right now? Ted asked.
“Sad.” I said.
“I would imagine so. We can spend some time talking about these things during your time here.”
That was how I found out I had gotten into the program.
Ted half eaten salad sat on top of a stack of manila folders next to his chair. He was absorbed in his magazine. I wondered if he even knew I was still there.
“Ted, doesn’t that surprise you at all? I mean I make a statement that I’m going to study the power of prayer and less than 30 minutes later there is this incredible coincidence?”
“No, I’m not really surprised. You seem to have a lot of these “coincidences” going on in your life.” He kept reading.
“What do you mean?”
He put down the magazine. “Don’t you remember the story you told me about how you got permission to take three months off from your corporate job to do the chaplaincy?” He got up. “I have a meeting.”
He left me in his office remembering when I had gone to my sales manager last September to ask for three months off. I had probably been naive to think that I was going to get all this time off without a hassle. I figured I had it coming since I had twelve weeks of vacation. My manger was not at all supportive.
“You want to do what? Take off May, June, and July? We would all love to have the summer off. Why do you need three months off?”
“I need to complete a unit of clinical pastoral education. It’s part of my ordination process.”
“Well,” he said. “I need to make quota. How do you think I’m going to make my number if one of my reps is off working somewhere else? Who do you think is going to cover your accounts?” Red face, sweat stains-he meant business.
I knew this question was coming so I had prepared a coverage plan. I waved it at him. “I have a coverage plan right here that should work.”
“No. Absolutely not.”
“Can’t we discuss this?”

The phone rang, he looked at me like I was certifiable. He picked up the phone and began talking. I sat there until he motioned me out.
I went back to my desk and sat down. It was September. Somehow, I needed to be able to keep my job and take off three months next year. How was I going to do this? I needed my income. My husband and I were both on a second marriage. Between us we have 5 sons and two houses. My husband’s boys were in Maryland where he shared custody with his former wife and my boys were in New York where I shared custody with their father. Two houses and 5 kids were not cheap. I couldn’t afford to quit.
“OK, God. If you want me to get ordained, you need to make this happen.” At that moment the phone rang on my desk.
“Jackie Herrick speaking.”
“Jackie, it’s Kurt. I’m calling because there’s a new job opening up in New York at one of the distributors. They’re looking for a rep in your location and I thought you would be great.”
Kurt was a rep I had known a long time. He had left his current sales job and was now managing a distributor.
“What made you think of me?” I couldn’t believe he had called me just as I was wondering what to do.
“I don’t know, I just thought you might need a change.”
This was a huge change. These accounts had been mine for over ten years. There was nothing that could surprise me about the territory. At the end of the month, I could look at the numbers and figure out which account would generate the business I needed to make quota. Starting a new job would mean starting over. New relationships would have to be established, which meant a lot more time and effort on my part. How could starting a new job possibly be a better path? Besides, how could a new manager be willing to give me three months off next spring? The whole situation seemed crazy. So I applied for the job.
Two weeks later, five candidates were on the early morning flight from Rochester to New York City to interview for this job. The number of people applying was impressive. The other candidates were all good sales people already working in a variety of sales jobs. WE all sat in different parts of the plane and although we shared a cab, no one said a word.
My interview was last. I hung out at the company’s office on the fifty fifth floor and pretended to work. This whole idea was crazy. I had never planned on going into the ministry and here I was interviewing for a totally new job just so I could get three months off to go work another job. I watched as four other reps went in and out of the conference room. They were there for about an hour each and when they came out, they looked straight ahead. The last candidate had a large folder and a pile of papers with the account’s annual report on the top.
Now I was nervous. I hadn’t really done any research on the job or the account. All of a sudden, I had a feeling that I should really want this job.
The door opened and out stepped the hiring manager. She was from California near the account headquarters. Her blonde hair fit my California stereotype but the rest was all Manhattan. Black Suit, black heels, black coach bag, and the corporate silk blouse.
“Jackie?” She looked at me. “Mary Pat,” whe said sticking out her hand. As we walked in the conference room, she put her arm around my shoulder and whispered “Let’s get out of here.” She stuffed her cell phone, her PDA and her laptop into her briefcase and grabbed her coat. The materials from the last candidate were lying on the table. She swept them into the garbage can turned to me with a smile. “Ready?”

When we hit the ground floor, she said, “I know a great place. The Monkey Room.” She took off. I almost had to run to keep up with her.
The Monkey Room turned out to be a trendy upscale restaurant just around the corner from the office. Mary Pat roared into the restaurant, swept by the hostess and sat down at one of the tables by the window. “I’ll have a Cosmo,” she announced. This job opportunity started to feel right.
“Me too,” I said, sitting down. What the hell. I didn’t have anything to lose. I waited for the interview to start. Mary Pat was reapplying her lipstick.
“Well, do you want the job?” She looked at me over the lipstick mirror.
“Yes, but I need three months off next May, June, and July.” I managed.
“Sure. Not a problem.”
She launched into a long speech about what needed to be done at the account. She talked in short little bursts with a Trace of a Long Island accent, stopping occasionally to comment on someone’s shoes or hairstyle. She looked at anything that caught her attention, and everything did. I got tired just watching her.

The waitress placed a towering mound of quivering chocolate mousse in front of Mary Pat. “So, why do you need three months off?”
I was surprised by the question. I didn’t think she had heard me. “I’m studying to be an Episcopal Priest and I need to complete a three month program in clinical Pastoral Education.”
Her eyes narrowed. “And then what, you quit your sales job and save the world?”
“Oh no, I still have five kids to get through college.”
“Great.” She eyed my cheese cake. “Can I have a bite of your dessert? I’m running the New York City marathon tomorrow.”
This had all happened in September. The new job started in October and Mary Pat was an amazing manager. Her signature line was “What’s stopping ya?” The sales team would come up with some very creative marketing and sales ideas. When we would present them to Mary Pat her only comment would be ‘what’s stopping ya.’ Finances, usually. Mary Pat would start peppering us with questions. Whom had we asked in the company for money? Why had they said no? What was stopping them? By the end of the conversation, we all knew the only thing stopping us was us. I still hear her voice. Our sales team soon became unstoppable. The business at the account was increasing at and in the midst of the busiest time of the year, I left and started at the hospital. The entire team said they would pray for me. Whatever that means, I thought at the time.

Read a Section of my book!

Below is the first section of my book on prayer. Please read it and feel free to comment or ask questions in the comment section at the end! If something is unclear or needs more detail, I would love to have your feedback. Enjoy! Julie

This conference room was far removed from the corporate conference rooms I had frequented in my sales days. The white plastic table was stained with coffee cup rings, and its mismatched chairs barely fit inside the room. On my way to the back of the room, I paused to ask my fellow chaplains to slide their chairs in so I could get by. We were the new group of student chaplains accepted into the hospital's Clinical Pastoral Care Program. I was taking the program because I felt compelled to become an Episcopal Priest. After plodding my way through seminary and taking six years instead of the usual three to get my Master's degree, I was here for the mandatory three month program. I just had one problem.
"I don't believe in the power of prayer." The faces at the table looked blank. I could tell they thought they hadn't heard me correctly. They probably thought I said the exact opposite. I continued. "NOT believing in prayer is a problem for me since I'm called to do it all the time, so I thought I would study prayer."
"Okay." My supervisor, Ted, made a note and then looked up at the next person. We were in the process of creating our "learning contracts". The contract was just one of the requirements we needed to get credit in the Clinical Pastoral Education program, CPE for short.
"Whoa, just a minute." Nick was holding up both hands like a cop stopping traffic. "How can you be in the ordination process and not believe in prayer?" He was breathing hard and the words came out in little bursts of air. Nick was Baptist. He survived on prayer. Prayer was as necessary as oxygen, water and food. And could he pray. We had decided to start most of our meetings with prayer. When Nick prayed, he would hunker down in his chair, close his eyes tightly, open his hands and beginning in a soft, deep, melodious voice call upon Jesus. The use of "Lord" became a rhythm and as he prayed, he would move from pianissimo to forte as he crescendo to the great Amen. After the first time Nick opened a meeting, we hit a slight snag. One of the Chaplains was Unitarian and didn't believe in a "God". She also did not want to have the Christians in the group invoke the name of Jesus. This was like telling Nick that he would not be able to use his arms and legs. As we hammered out the "rules for praying", our supervisor sat back and took notes. This was part of the CPE process - handling conflict. And there was conflict.
Beth, our resident Unitarian, was very clear about her beliefs. "I know there is energy in the universe that can be used for good, but I'm offended when you insist on calling it Jesus." Nick shook his head back and forth and looked at the rest of the Christians around the table for support. "Well, I'm offended when you call God, En - er - gy!" He spit out each syllable.
The arguing continued. I kept waiting for Ted to weigh in. He was an Orthodox Christian. I wanted him to stop this crazy dialogue and tell us what to do. He didn't. He just sat there calmly observing the scene. I wasn't calm. I don't like conflict. I was Episcopalian, the polite denomination. We don't raise our voices. I felt very uncomfortable. During these first meetings, I didn't dare join the argument. I didn't really believe in prayer so how could I have an opinion about how to pray?
"This is really not a problem." Judy, a sixty year old nun, had just returned from missionary work Malaysia. I still hadn't figured out why she was taking Clinical Pastoral Education. "Why don't we each pray in our own traditional way? We can take turns opening our meetings and this will give us the opportunity to experience different ways of praying."
The group silently considered that option.
"But I'm the only Unitarian. The rest of you are Christian. I'm going to be buried in Christianity," Beth whined.
"Suck it up, Beth," Judy said. And that was the end of the argument.
Now that I had made my statement about not believing in the power of prayer, it was like picking the group scab. Nick was appalled, Beth felt like she might have gained an ally, Judy was bored and Frank a sixty-five year old Roman Catholic Priest was eager to help me see the light.
"All I'm saying Nick, is that I don't really understand prayer and how it works, if it works at all. I'm used to being able to do something about problems. Prayer at this moment seems like a cop out. If someone is sick or dying there is really nothing I can do about it as a Chaplain except pray and what does that do?"
Nick took a deep breath. "Well, for starters--."
"Let's go to our assigned units." Ted finished.
Good, I had been rescued from a lecture by Nick. I picked up my notebook and my little black, zippered Bible headed toward the stairs and climbed the seven floors to my assigned unit, Oncology. Nick followed me but choose instead to take the elevator. He was assigned to the ICU on the eighth floor.
I had a list of patients on my floor. The list showed their name, age and diagnosis. I glanced down at the list before I entered the first room. Robert Allen, fifty eight years old, diagnosis: liver cancer, terminal.
"Hi, Mr. Allen, how are you?" I was trying to sound nice without being overly cheerful.
"Who are you?" He lay on his side facing away from the door. He was very thin and his skin was a dirty yellow. He wore a knitted cap.
"I'm the Chaplain." I walked around to the side of the bed and sat down in the chair.
"Well, I don't believe in God." He'd pulled the blankets up under his chin. "I'm cold."
I was on my way to the door.
"You don't have to leave. You can still talk to me."
"Okay."
I had no idea what to do next. This was my third day on this floor and I was at a loss. I felt totally incompetent. In my "other life" I had been in corporate sales, twenty years of account calls, presentations in boardrooms, and solving customer complaints. Now I was making small talk with terminal patients. I had taken a leave of absence from my job to complete this unit of Clinical Pastoral education. The Diocese required it for ordination. Three months of giving pastoral care, working through conflicts brought about by my fellow chaplains and dealing with all my own stuff because I lived in a crisis-filled environment. I felt helpless as I looked at the man in the bed. He was dying of cancer, he didn't believe in God, and he was cold.
"Can I get you a blanket?" The problem solver in me had kicked in.
"No, it doesn't matter how many blankets I put on this bed, I just can't get warm."
"Oh."
That was it. I had no other solutions. All I could say was Oh? I didn't know what to do. I didn't know where to look and I certainly didn't know what to say.
He took pity on me. "Since you're the chaplain, why don't you just say a little prayer?"
"Okay."
Now I was at a total loss. What should I pray for? The man was terminal. It said so on my patient sheet. I resorted to my sales background. Always find out what the customer wants first.
"What would you like me to pray for?" I asked him.
He thought for a moment. "Well, I would like to go home to die, but for some reason, the doctor won't let me. Why don't you ask your God to let me go home?"
I took his hand, closed my eyes and said "Please God, let Mr. Allen go home. Amen."
At that moment, a doctor came into the room. "Bob, I was just walking down the hallway thinking about the possibility of sending you home and I felt compelled to come in here and tell you that I have changed my mind. I'll contact Hospice and we'll make the arrangements to get you out of here."
Mr. Robert Allen looked at me and smiled. "Wow, you're good."

Bible Study - Job's Friend reply

Job’s Bible Study
July 8, 2008
Session V

Opening Prayer

Gracious God who has the power to create the whirlwind and the wisdom to speak to us in the still, small voice, we ask that you bring your love to us today. We are in need of the strength of your spirit. We live in the hope of your call. We depend on you; there is no other who gives us such and hope and life. Be with us, care for us, comfort and confront us with your love and grace. Through the power of the Spirit we pray. Amen.



Review Chapter 3 (Taken from Job and the life of faith – Carol Bechtel)
Job’s Candor
The first part of Job 3 is an extended curse, the last part (vv. 11-26) has much in common with the lament psalms. Here are some points of comparison and contrast:
Like the laments: Job 3:11-26 lists many vivid complaints.
Unlike the laments: Job 3:11-26
• may not be addressed to God at all (though God surely “overhears”).
• has no invocation, expressions of trust, petitions, or expressions of
praise.

Reread Chapter 3 silently. Take several minutes to write a “no holds barred” prayer
to God about a specific situation in your life. These prayers will not be shared with the group.


Introduction to Chapter 4 – Retributive Justice (Taken from Job and the life of faith – Carol Bechtel)


Retributive Justice is the heart of the debate between Job and his friends.

Retributive Justice is the idea that obedience is rewarded with blessing and disobedience is punished with suffering. The doctrine itself (though not necessarily the friends’ interpretation of it) has its roots in the book of Deuteronomy. The classic statements of this doctrine usually have an “if…then” pattern built into them. This highlights the conditional nature of the terms of the covenant. In the book of Deuteronomy we can see this most clearly in chapter 28. There the “if you obey” clause is followed by a long and alluring list of all the blessing that will follow in the wake of the people’s obedience (vv. 1-14). The list is even longer for the curses that will follow disobedience (vv. 15-68).

This interpretation of the covenant agreement between God and the people is by no means confined to Deuteronomy. We find many statements of it throughout the Old Testatment. Perhaps the most prominent example is in the books of 1st and 2nd Kings. There, each King and Queen is evaluated in terms of how he or she measure up to the Deuteronomic measuring stick. (1Kings 22:51-53) The nation’s fall is attributed to the people’s disobedience.

So does suffering follow disobedience? If so, why are there so many criminal driving around in nice cars?

Also problematic is people’s tendency to try and read the deuteronomic equation backwards. It is one thing to say, “Obey and be blessed,” but quite another to say, “I am enjoying blessing, therefore I must be obedient.” In Job’s case, the negative part of the equation is read backwards: Job is suffering, therefore he must have sinned.

As we enter the debate, be careful not to oversimplify the various positions. There are not simple issues and we cannot expect to find simple answers.

The debate between Job and his friends unfolds in three cycles. Within each cycle, the friends take turns and Job responds after each of their speeches. Thus, each cycle contains six speeches, and together the three cycles contain eighteen. The pattern deteriorates somewhat in the third cycle, making it difficult to identify the full eighteen.

1) Cycle One (Job 4-14)
Round A: Eliphaz (Job 4-5)
Job (Job 6-7)
Round B: Bildad (Job 8)
Job (Job 9-10)
Round C: Zophar (Job 11)
Job (Job 12-14)

2) Cycle Two (Job 15-21)
Round A: Eliphaz (Job 15)
Job (Job 16-17)
Round B: Bildad (Job 18)
Job (Job 19)
Round C: Zophar (Job 20)
Job (Job 21)

3) Cycle Three (Job 22-27)
Round A: Eliphaz (Job 22)
Job (Job 23-24)
Round B: Bildad (Job 25)
Job (Job 26-27)

Bible Study - Suffering June 10, 2008

The Book of Job
Session V
June 10, 2008

Review

1. List all the ways that Job has suffered (see Chapter 1 and 2:7).










Opening Prayer

Collect from the Third Sunday in Lent

Almighty God, you know that we have no power in ourselves
to help ourselves: Keep us both outwardly in our bodies and
inwardly in our souls, that we may be defended from all
adversities which may happen to the body, and from all evil
thoughts which may assault and hurt the soul; through Jesus
Christ our Lord, who lives and reigns with you and the Holy
Spirit, one God, for ever and ever. Amen.

Opening Scripture
Job’s Three Friends
11 Now when Job’s three friends heard of all these troubles that had come upon him, each of them set out from his home—Eliphaz the Temanite, Bildad the Shuhite, and Zophar the Naamathite. They met together to go and console and comfort him. 12When they saw him from a distance, they did not recognize him, and they raised their voices and wept aloud; they tore their robes and threw dust in the air upon their heads. 13They sat with him on the ground for seven days and seven nights, and no one spoke a word to him, for they saw that his suffering was very great.

Discussion Questions:

1. How did Job’s friends react to his suffering?




2. What are some of the ways we react to our own suffering?




3. What are some of the ways we react to the sufferings of others?





4. What have we found helpful from others when we suffer?




















What is a lament?
(http://www.americancatholic.org/Messenger/Mar2002/Feature2.asp#top)


Lamentation, a prayer for help coming out of pain, is very common in the Bible. Over one third (50 or so) of the psalms are laments. Lament frequently occurs in the Book of Job: "Why did I not perish at birth, come forth from the womb and expire?" (Job 3:11). The prophets likewise cry out to God, such as Jeremiah does: "Why is my pain continuous, my wound incurable...?" (15:18) and Habakkuk: "...my legs tremble beneath me. I await the day of distress that will come upon the people who attack us" (3:16).
One whole book, Lamentations, expresses the confusion and suffering felt after the destruction of Jerusalem by the Babylonians.
We find something similar in the New Testament as well. People who are afflicted cry out to Jesus for help. Bartimaeus, the blind beggar, shouts out, "Jesus, Son of David, have pity on me!" (Mark 10:47).
Jesus himself laments to the Father in the Garden of Gethsemane, "Abba, Father, all things are possible to you. Take this cup away from me..." (Mark 14:36). In his agony on the cross, Jesus makes his own the words of Psalm 22, "My God, my God, why have you forsaken me...?"
Despite its wide-ranging presence in the Bible, we Christians have by and large lost touch with this dimension of prayer. It is something we need to recover.
What Is Lamentation?
When we feel blessed in life, when we experience goodness and wholeness, we turn to God in praise and thanksgiving. But what happens when we experience just the opposite? What happens when we are overcome by the presence of chaos, brokenness, suffering and death, or by a sudden sense of our human vulnerability.
When we hurt physically, we cry out in pain; when we hurt religiously, we cry out in lament.
To begin with, the laments we find in Scripture are addressed directly to God: "Out of the depths I cry to you, O Lord; Lord, hear my voice!" (Psalm 130:1) and "My soul, too, is utterly terrified; but you, O Lord, how long...?" (Psalm 6:4).
In more modern terms we might say, "I call to you, O Lord, and all I get is your answering machine!" We take our cries directly to the top. God, however, seems very far away, "O my God, I cry out by day, and you answer not; by night, and there is no relief for me" (Psalm 22:3).
We ask heartfelt questions: "How long, O Lord? Will you utterly forget me?" (Psalm 13:2), which implies: I am at the end of my rope, and I cannot hold on much longer; and, "Why, O Lord, do you stand aloof? Why hide in times of distress?" (Psalm 10:1), which implies: "I do not understand what is going on; this makes no sense. How long? Why?" These are not requests for information, but cries of pain.
The afflictions of the speaker(s) are described in broad, stereotyped ways with which all sufferers can identify: sickness—"...heal me, O Lord, for my body is in terror" (Psalm 6:3); loneliness and alienation—"My friends and my companions stand back because of my affliction..." (Psalm 38:12); danger and mistreatment by others—"O Lord,... save me from all my pursuers" (Psalm 7:2) and even aging—"Cast me not off in my old age..." (Psalm 71:9).
Finally, the ultimate affliction is physical death—"For my soul is surfeited with troubles and my life draws near to the nether world" (Psalm 88:4). All of these are manifestations of the realm of chaos and of brokenness invading and pulling our lives apart.



Accepting Lament as an Act of Faith
First, we feel, "My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?" and we might think, "I should not feel this way! I am losing my faith!" Lament corrects a false, naïve and overly rationalistic view of faith.
In the Scriptures, faith is not simply an intellectual assent to some statement about God. It is the trusting of our entire selves to God. At times, we do experience God's absence; we do feel alone and confused, and we doubt.
Doubt is not opposed to faith; despair is. We see this in the case of the father who brought his son to Jesus for healing. When Jesus encouraged the father to have faith, he replied, "I do believe, help my unbelief!" (Mark 9:24).
Even St. Paul tells us he was "perplexed, but not driven to despair" (2 Corinthians 4:8). In despair we give up on our relationship with God. Doubt, on the other hand, is a sign that our faith is alive and kicking; it is part of the rhythm of faith itself.
Lament is not a failure of faith, but an act of faith. We cry out directly to God because deep down we know that our relationship with God counts; it counts to us and it counts to God.
Even if we do not experience the closeness, we believe that God does care. Even if God seems not to hear, we believe that God is always within shouting distance. In the Scriptures, God does not say, "Do not fear, I will take away all the pain and struggle." Rather, we hear, "You have no need to fear, since I am with you" (e.g., to Isaac, frightened of the Philistine king—Genesis 26:24; to the anxious Moses being sent to confront Pharaoh—Exodus 3:11-12; to the disciples when they see Jesus walking on the sea—Matthew 14:27) and together we will make it.
We will survive, yes, even death itself. In the aftermath of the terrorist attacks, our security can be shaken, and our faith as well. Perhaps it is not lamenting, but the failure to lament that expresses a lack of faith.
Secondly, in lamenting we cry to God, "Why, O Lord?" Our suffering is so big; it does not make any sense; it lacks meaning. The desire to find meaning is a strong one.
After the attacks on the World Trade Center, a photo made the rounds on the Internet showing what seemed to be a face (or a skull) visible in the smoke pouring out of the towers. Could this be a sign that this was the work of the devil? Others appealed to the predictions of Nostradamus and some of the superficial religious explanations of prominent media preachers to make sense of what had happened.
In our search for meaning, we can be tempted to look for cheap and easy answers. Lament teaches us that there are indeed things we do not understand; in fact, we cannot understand. God does not say, "Do not fear; you will understand everything and have all the answers." Our human mind can take us only so far. At times we can do no more than speak our confusion to God, and lament tells us that we should do no less.
Thirdly, we feel against people who hurt us, personally or as a nation, "Happy the man who shall seize and smash your little ones against the rock" (Psalm 137:9), and we think, "I should not feel this way; it is against charity."
Lament counters a false, naïve and overly romantic view of charity. Charity does not mean that everything is lovely, that we never get upset, that we sit around holding hands and saying how wonderful everything is. This is unreal.
Negativity, injustice, hatred, brokenness are part of our lives and part of our world. In the face of this, we can have an instinctive feeling for retaliation in kind, for returning hatred with hatred. I do feel pain, hurt and anger, but these are not a good basis on which to act. The fact that I feel a certain way does not give me permission to go out and dump my negativity wherever and on whomever I want. Lament suggests that it is all right to express our uncensored feelings before God.
Acknowledging Our Pain
In this light, the "cursing psalms" make sense. They have often been a particular stumbling block. We need to recognize, first, that they are clearly spoken out of great pain and distress. The feelings are really in the psalms, and at times they are really in us.
But, second, the psalmist does not say, "I am going to go out and smash his little ones against the rock!" We do not, as it were, take things into our own hands. We say rather, "God, this is the way I feel; I leave it to you." And God has never been known to rush out and do everything we ask when we are angry. We let God deal with it, and in the process, we get the feelings out of us; we can begin to respond more reflectively, more constructively.
It is true that Jesus' example teaches us to pray, "Father, forgive them, they know not what they do" (Luke 23:34)—an attitude found also in some parts of the Old Testament, such as Exodus 23:4-5 and Job 31:29-30. This is indeed the direction in which we hope to move, the direction we want our actions to reflect. But our feelings may not always be there—at least at first.
Again, the feelings are real and will not go away, and if we do not recognize them and deal with them constructively, they will go underground and pop up later in destructive ways. Lament is a constructive way to deal with them.
It is often noted that almost all of the lament psalms (Psalm 88 is an exception) end on a sudden turn to praise (e.g., 6:9-11; 22:23-32). Scholars have offered various explanations for this, but from the viewpoint of prayer, the meaning seems clear. It is only after we lament, after we face and express the pain and negativity and get it all out, that healing can begin. In more theological terms, we can say that it is only by facing and going through the death that we can come to new life, to resurrection.
The structure of lament tells us that it is possible to praise too soon. The psalmist takes the time to let all the pain and anger out before the praise can set in. Perhaps it is not lamenting, but the failure to lament that expresses a lack of charity.
Recovering the Power of Lamentations
It is true that we have lost a healthy sense of lament in our personal prayer life. We have lost it as well in our communal, liturgical life. Almost the only remaining context in which lament is formally acknowledged is the funeral liturgy, but here too it is possible to give lament short shrift.
Some years back, after the changes in the rite of funerals, a family I knew lost a child in a boating accident. A lot of pressure was brought to bear to "celebrate the Mass of the Resurrection, to rejoice in his birth to new life."
About a year later, their suppressed grief almost tore the family apart. Again, we must not deny honest pain, nor jump too quickly from loss to acceptance and skip over the lamenting process. Christian faith does proclaim a message of hope, but death and grief are still real.
Perhaps other situations exist in which some form of communal liturgical or paraliturgical lament would be appropriate: after a painful experience of divorce; in a religious community after dear members choose to leave; when missionaries depart for home after years of service in a foreign country; for victims of clergy abuse on the path of healing; in a neighborhood taken over by drug dealers; in a community hard hit by HIV and AIDS; in a community devastated by natural disaster (fire, flood, earthquake, tornado, hurricane); for people after the experience of rape. Or when terrorists attack a country and many lives are lost.
Perhaps we are discovering that, as a nation, we have been more traumatized than we initially thought; there may still be lamentation work to do.
How helpful it would be if we had some structures and models to allow us to express and acknowledge our grief, our pain, our confusion and our anger; to offer each other strength and support in difficult times; to help us, individually and communally, move forward with the task and challenge of life and to help us discern what is a good and proper response to any situation.
We have such structures and models available to us in the prayer of our Scriptures. The loss of lament has been costly; we have much to gain by recovering it.



Cry to God
Awake! Why are you asleep, O Lord?
 Arise! Cast us not off forever! 
Why do you hide your face,
 forgetting our woe and our oppression? 
For our souls are bowed down to the dust,
 our bodies are pressed to the earth. (Psalm 44:24-26)

How long, O Lord? Will you utterly forget me?
 How long will you hide your face from me? 
How long shall I harbor sorrow in my soul,
 grief in my heart day after day?
How long will my enemy triumph over me? (Psalm 13:2-3) 




Prayer in Anger
Pour out your wrath upon the nations
 that acknowledge you not,
upon the kingdoms that call not upon your name.
Why should the nations say, 
 "Where is their God?" 
Let it be known among the nations in our sight 
 that you avenge the shedding of your servants' blood. 
And repay our neighbors sevenfold into their bosoms 
 the disgrace they have inflicted on you, O Lord.
(Psalm 79:6,10,12)
Rise up, judge of the earth; render their deserts to the proud. How long, O Lord, shall the wicked,
 how long shall the wicked glory, 
Mouthing insolent speeches, boasting, all the evildoers? 
(Psalm 94:2-4)




Personal Affliction
Look toward me, and have pity on me,
 for I am alone and afflicted. 
Relieve the troubles of my heart, 
 and bring me out of my distress. 
Put an end to my affliction and my suffering, 
 and take away all my sins. 
Behold, my enemies are many, 
 and they hate me violently. 
Preserve my life, and rescue me; 
 let me not be put to shame, for I take refuge in you. 
(Psalm 25:16-20)

Trust in God
Show us, O Lord, your kindness,
 and grant us your salvation.
I will hear what God proclaims;
 the Lord—for he proclaims peace.
To his people, and to his faithful ones, 
 and to those who put in him their hope.
Near indeed is his salvation to those who fear him, 
 glory dwelling in our land. 
(Psalm 85:8-10)
Many say, "Oh, that we might see better times!" 
 O Lord, let the light of your countenance shine upon us! 
You put gladness into my heart, 
 more than when grain and wine abound. 
As soon as I lie down, I fall peacefully asleep,
 for you alone, O Lord, 
 bring security to my dwelling. 
(Psalm 4:7-9) 


The Book of Job Bible Study - May 27, 2008

The Book of Job
Session IV
May 27, 2008


Job 2
Attack on Job’s Health
One day the heavenly beings came to present themselves before the Lord, and Satan also came among them to present himself before the Lord. 2The Lord said to Satan, ‘Where have you come from?’ Satan answered the Lord, ‘From going to and fro on the earth, and from walking up and down on it.’ 3The Lord said to Satan, ‘Have you considered my servant Job? There is no one like him on the earth, a blameless and upright man who fears God and turns away from evil. He still persists in his integrity, although you incited me against him, to destroy him for no reason.’ 4Then Satan answered the Lord, ‘Skin for skin! All that people have they will give to save their lives. 5But stretch out your hand now and touch his bone and his flesh, and he will curse you to your face.’ 6The Lord said to Satan, ‘Very well, he is in your power; only spare his life.’
7 So Satan went out from the presence of the Lord, and inflicted loathsome sores on Job from the sole of his foot to the crown of his head. 8Job took a potsherd with which to scrape himself, and sat among the ashes.
9 Then his wife said to him, ‘Do you still persist in your integrity? Curse God, and die.’ 10But he said to her, ‘You speak as any foolish woman would speak. Shall we receive the good at the hand of God, and not receive the bad?’ In all this Job did not sin with his lips.


Review Chapter 1 and 2. Find a partner and then continue the dialogue between Job and his wife with your partner. One person is Job and the other person is Job’s wife. After a few minutes, switch roles and try continuing the dialogue again.




Read the commentary by Bill Long and then consider the discussion questions:

1. What word should the translation use? Bless or Curse?

2. How does using the word “Bless” change or not change your understanding of what Job’s wife was telling him to do?

3. What does it mean to have integrity in this situation? For Job? For his wife?



Other discussion questions:

In a play about Job, there is a line that says we can only see God from the Ash heap. What do you think this means? Do you think it is true?




How does our suffering affect those around us?




Who do you think has the harder road? Job or his wife?












The Reaction of Job's Wife by Bill Long
After she and Job have suffered the loss of their ten children and their wealth, and after Job's body breaks out in sores, she is quoted as saying (according to the NRSV):
"Do you still persist in your integrity? Curse God, and die (2:9)."
A footnote in the NRSV after "curse" tells us that the Hebrew word actually says "bless." Thus the literal translation of 2:9 is "Bless God, and die." But what might this mean? And why have the translators changed the word "bless" to "curse?" What is Mrs. Job really trying to say to her husband?
The Scholars Weigh In--Total Confusion
The major reason why most translations and all scholars render the verse "Curse God, and die," is that the verb "bless," used here, is also used in 1:5; 1:11 and 2:5 and, in all of those cases it seems to be used euphemistically. For example, in 1:5, Job is seen as the efficient (and officious) parent, sacrificing for his children "lest they bless (i.e. 'curse') God in their hearts." It is almost as if the word "curse" was too unholy a word for Job to utter; hence he uses the opposite word "bless" with the understanding that "curse" would be meant. For why would he sacrifice for his children if they were literally "blessing" God? Using this example and the others in 1:11 and 2:5 (where the Satan is speaking), scholars have argued that Job's wife's use of "bless" in 2:9 should also be rendered as "curse." Thus, she would be saying to Job, 'Stop being so holy and righteous and pure by blessing God all the time. Curse him. That is really the only way to show your integrity. You will die, but that is your condition anyway. Your integrity, therefore, means that you must curse God now."
With this kind of understanding, most scholars have therefore been either critical of Job's wife (she is a "temptress" who is, possibly like Eve, trying to take her husband's faith from God) or cautiously supportive of her (by telling Job to curse God, she has recognized far earlier than he has that blessing God in this instance is incompatible with personal integrity). But I would like to suggest another interpretation, which takes the word "bless" seriously as "bless" and not "curse," such as it is used in 1:21 where Job says, "the Lord gave, and the Lord has taken away; blessed be the name of the Lord."
Keep "Bless God" in 2:9
If we take seriously the fact that "bless" in 2:9 should be translated as it is in the Hebrew ("Bless God, and die"), and if we take seriously the fact that the second verb ("die") is in a Hebrew construction that can be rendered "you will die," then our translation of 2:9 is "Bless God, and you will die." [The Hebrew word "die" is in the imperative mood, but most scholars believe that the action contemplated by the command is meant to follow the first verb. Hence, "bless God and die," is really "bless God, and you will die.] The meaning of Job's wife's words would then be as follows:
'Job, if you continue to bless God as you have been doing, when you said, 'the Lord gave, and the Lord has taken away; blessed be the name of the Lord,' it will be too much for you. Your words will contradict your heart. They will be nothing more than the mechanical utterances of a man who has experienced devastating loss. Thus, if you continue on your path of blessing God, you simply will die. There will be such a tension, an inconsistency, between your confession of faith and the way life has hit you that the dissonance will be fatal. Thus, 'bless God, and you will die.'
Seen in this light, Job's wife is not only portrayed as a person who has deep insight into her husband's character and practices, but one who can see that if he persists in his current method of blessing God it will kill him. It is sort of like the advice we have all heard many times from our mothers--'if you continue to do that, it will kill you.' By giving this example, I do not mean to trivialize Job's wife's advice. I think she is giving him clear-headed insight into his current plight.
Conclusion
If we adopt this interpretation of Job's wife's words, she then becomes not a shadowy character who is given one throw-away line before exiting from the stage never to return, but she assumes a more major role in the Book of Job.

The Book of Job Bible Study - May 13, 2008

The Book of Job
Session III
May 13, 2008

In Blackwater Woods – a poem by Mary Oliver

To live in this world

You must be able
To do three things:
To love what is mortal;
To hold it

Against your bones knowing
Your own life depends on it;
And, when the time comes to let it go,
To let it go.



Job 1:1-22 The First Test
Job 1:6-12 Scene 2: A dialogue about Job


A Dialogue About Job
6 One day the heavenly beings came to present themselves before the Lord, and Satan also came among them. 7The Lord said to Satan, ‘Where have you come from?’ Satan answered the Lord, ‘From going to and fro on the earth, and from walking up and down on it.’ 8The Lord said to Satan, ‘Have you considered my servant Job? There is no one like him on the earth, a blameless and upright man who fears God and turns away from evil.’ 9Then Satan answered the Lord, ‘Does Job fear God for nothing? 10Have you not put a fence around him and his house and all that he has, on every side? You have blessed the work of his hands, and his possessions have increased in the land. 11But stretch out your hand now, and touch all that he has, and he will curse you to your face.’ 12The Lord said to Satan, ‘Very well, all that he has is in your power; only do not stretch out your hand against him!’ So Satan went out from the presence of the Lord.
The Test-Destruction of “All That He Has”
13 One day when his sons and daughters were eating and drinking wine in the eldest brother’s house, 14a messenger came to Job and said, ‘The oxen were ploughing and the donkeys were feeding beside them, 15and the Sabeans fell on them and carried them off, and killed the servants with the edge of the sword; I alone have escaped to tell you.’ 16While he was still speaking, another came and said, ‘The fire of God fell from heaven and burned up the sheep and the servants, and consumed them; I alone have escaped to tell you.’ 17While he was still speaking, another came and said, ‘The Chaldeans formed three columns, made a raid on the camels and carried them off, and killed the servants with the edge of the sword; I alone have escaped to tell you.’ 18While he was still speaking, another came and said, ‘Your sons and daughters were eating and drinking wine in their eldest brother’s house, 19and suddenly a great wind came across the desert, struck the four corners of the house, and it fell on the young people, and they are dead; I alone have escaped to tell you.’
20 Then Job arose, tore his robe, shaved his head, and fell on the ground and worshipped. 21He said, ‘Naked I came from my mother’s womb, and naked shall I return there; the Lord gave, and the Lord has taken away; blessed be the name of the Lord.’
22 In all this Job did not sin or charge God with wrongdoing.


Who is Satan? The word Satan is used to describe both human and heavenly beings who act as adversaries or accusers. The noun describes a function. See the following 1Sam 29:4; 1Kings 5:4, 18; Ps 109.6; Numbers 22:22; Zech 3:1.

What kind of God subjects his believers to these kinds of trials?


Why does God allow Satan this kind of power?


What gets destroyed and how does it get destroyed?



What is Job’s reaction?



How does this relate to the opening poem?





Questions for our own reflection.

What losses have we experienced in our lives?



Where did we find God in these experiences?




What have we learned about ourselves from the loss?


Emily Dickenson Poem
After great pain, a formal feeling comes
The Nerves sit ceremonious, like Toombs
The stiff Heart questions was it He, that bore,
And Yesterday, or Centuries before?
The Feet, mechanical, go round 
Of Ground, or Air, or Ought 
A Wooden way 
Regardless grown, 
A Quartz contentment, like a stone
This is the Hour of Lead--
Remembered, if outlived,
As Freezing persons recollect the Snow--
First--Chill--then Stupor--then the letting go--